sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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