There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Four minutes until I can fart!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party