I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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