i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
