I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
