I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
