How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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