Tell her she can't have a vagina
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize