this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize