You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do flat chested girls get laid?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize