Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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