wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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