That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
