think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize