Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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