Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
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Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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