Say something about gay babies.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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