you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
