we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
