I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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