Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate