I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is