To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?