"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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