Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
