Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
they're like a gay fantastic four
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
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I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
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I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
tell me about the fingering
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