Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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