that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
