In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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