It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
wanna go halves on a baby?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
