whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
