When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
