I cockslap morals
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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