Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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