Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
