What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
