I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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