Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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