I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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