Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
