drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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