Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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