Umm I'm too high to move.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize