Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
