A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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