Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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