i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
what day is it and did you see me today?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
