Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
