Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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