So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
