shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
