I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
