Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize