Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
