We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
