I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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