So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It was like giving head to a cactus.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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