I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
