So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
