So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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