i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
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We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
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They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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