if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
