she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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